Wednesday, February 16, 2011

A Little on Feminism, Phariseeism and Personal Decisions

I have been having a discussion with a dear friend about, essentially, feminism and some of the things that are wrong with generalizations in LDS culture. Now, I am a dedicated member of the LDS church, and I have a testimony of the foundational doctrines, but that doesn't mean it's perfect. There are definitely some serious issues. Here is part of what I sent to this friend on the subjects:

I have some things in my life that have been confirmed by personal revelation that seem to directly contradict things that are said in general conferences and by general authorities. If God wanted me to just stay home with my kids, I don't see why I couldn't have majored in something else. I feel like I should be doing something with my major, which I was guided to pretty emphatically by the spirit. I think if I weren't supposed to have a career, it wouldn't be such a big deal what I majored in. Another thing..waiting for Adam. General Authorities have said in so many cases that missionaries shouldn't have girls at home. And yet, I have had it confirmed to me on so many occasions in so many different ways that I can not doubt that I am on the right course by waiting for Adam, even if I otherwise would. So it bothers me even more whenever people criticize my choice to wait for Adam. And I hate when people imply that if things didn't work out, it would be a waste of 2 years of my life to wait. As the only thing I'm not doing that I might otherwise be doing is dating or being in a relationship with some other guy, I can only conclude that the way in which I would be wasting my time would be by not dating. I don't think that me not dating is a waste of my time. In fact, even if things worked out that Adam and I decided to go our separate ways, which I don't think they will, I would in no way consider waiting for him a waste of my time. Rather, I would consider it one of the most challenging and growth-inducing periods of my life, for various reasons, many of them directly related to my waiting for Adam. So I feel like that is a product of our culture, too. In all the wrong ways.
I don't think that being a successful career woman and being a successful, loving and nurturing mother are mutually exclusive. I also feel like when a couple decides to have children is a very personal decision between them and God. I, personally, think it is wrong to have children when you aren't prepared to take care of them. Responsible parenting also, in my opinion, involves being responsible about when you have kids. I suppose if God really wanted someone to get pregnant and they were trying not to, their birth control just wouldn't work. I, personally, am not in the habit of blaming God for everything that happens ever. I don't think that just because something happens, God is necessarily directly involved.

No comments: